#but not sure which
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đ i haven't live-blogged watching something in a while...and since i've found gallowglass i think it's only fair that i talk to myself about one of michael sheen's first roles. as a treat.
#alysha.txt#gallowglass#michael sheen#last one was a movie with ralph#but not sure which#maybe the last POW bobby garwood story? hmm idk
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unoriginal joke
#Gravity Falls#Stanley Pines#Stanford Pines#Ford Pines#Stan Pines#shitpost#I put the ID in the little thing tumblr has for it this time because I am still experimenting with which is best wah#This joke has been made before I am sure of it but.
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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.
I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.
One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.
The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasnât good enough to get into heaven⌠or something?
The problem was that I had never read these books, and didnât really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think âThe rapture happened and Iâve been abandoned by God! Iâll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!â
I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.
Itâs a good thing I didnât understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.
#still not really sure what part of this joke was funny?#cuz if the prank had worked#then they would have made an 8 year old think she had lost her family and been rejected by god#which isnât really much of a joke#Christianâs are weird yall#pirateprincessjess
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hindsight
[ID: A two-panel comic with crudely drawn stick figures.
Panel 1: The lime green person is talking to the leaf green person and the moss green person.
Lime: "I... have a confession to make."
Leaf: "Go ahead."
Lime: "I want to rewatch the Wizard Child movies."
Leaf: "Didn't the wizard author get incredibly chromophobic?"
Lime: "Yeah I just... It's nostalgia you know? They meant a lot to me when I was a kid."
Panel 2: The three are on the couch.
Lime: "All right, let's go."
Leaf: "It's so weird how the wizard author just turned chromophobic though. Like I remember this series being pretty good for its time. It'll be weird seeing their work contrasting with their views now."
Moss: "I'm just glad we got the movies for free through normal and legal means. Heh."
End ID.]
[ID 2: Scenes from three Wizard Child movies.
Wizard Child and the Simplistic Morality: A slightly round child with a propeller hat is talking to a child with no hat.
Round child: "I am so fucking fat and greedy I am textually shown to be fat because I am greedy and also evil."
Hatless child: "You are to infer my moral purity from juxtaposition with this fat child. Woe is me for our shared parent has deprived me of a propeller hat."
Wizard Child and the Goodness of Wealth: An adult wizard is talking to the child, who now has a wizard hat.
Wizard Adult: "Wizard child you are secretly extremely rich."
Wizard Child: "I will form biases regarding the bankers all being triangular for some reason!"
Wizard Adult: "Your wealth is deserved because your true parent was Good and therefore you are also Good."
Wizard Child: "Now we should acquire consumer goods. Buy consumer goods!"
Wizard Child and the Dark Family History: A blue-grey horse person is talking to the wizard child.
Blue-grey: "No, wizard child. You don't understand. I am one of the good ones, because unlike the bad ones I don't try to spread my curse that makes you a blue-grey horselike creature to others!"
Wizard child: "Wow uncle blue-grey you are one of the good ones! I forgive you for being a horse because I am so good I would even forgive horses. I sure hope you don't conspicuously get killed off later in this movie!"
End ID 2.]
[ID 3: Oh hell no there are even more of these.
Wizard Youth and the Tokenistic Relationship Dynamics: A square headed wizard youth is talking to the former wizard child, now a wizard youth.
Square Wizard Youth: "Wizard child, as the only person with a square head in this entire series it is my duty to inform you that you are the savior of all people with square heads, too. Let us build a one-sided relationship that only furthers your character development, after which I will immediately lose all plot relevance."
Wizard Youth: "I will do this because I am a maturing wizard youth and need disposable relationships that don't threaten the endgame!"
Wizard Youth and the Escalation of Stakes: The Dark Wizard, a sort of grey-green person with a cloak, is pointing at Wizard Youth.
Dark Wizard: "Wizard Youth, I have returned!"
Wizard Youth: "Dark Wizard! Why are you green now?"
Dark Wizard: "Evil magic made me green! I am green with envy towards all who are good!"
Wizard Youth: "I will not engage with how you are clearly based on fascist ideologies and yet this narrative plays into fascist aesthetic sensibilities!"
Wizard Youth and the Post-Hoc Revelations: The Wizard Youth is leaning over their Wizard Mentor, who is laying in a pool of blood.
Wizard Youth: "Wizard Mentor no! You can't die!"
Wizard Mentor: "It is fine, wizard youth. My death will further your character development into a wizard adult. Also, I was secretly a very very dark purple this entire time. I never brought it up so I could retain narrative approval.
End ID 3.]
[ID 4: Wizard Adult and the Overdue Conclusion. Three panels. I am sorry.
Panel 1: The dark wizard is dueling the Wizard Adult with magic beams.
Dark Wizard: "Evil green beam!"
Wizard Adult: "Good red beam! Despite the enormous variety of magic in this series this is what our final battle looks like!"
Panel 2: Wizard Adult stands victorious over the dark wizard, who is dying on the ground.
Wizard Adult: "In the end, dark wizard, you were defeated because I am morally superior to you."
Dark Wizard: "I was a product of systemic failures. There will be someone like me again someday!"
Panel 3: Zoom in on wizard adult, who says:
"Not if I can help it. Because I am going to be a wizard cop now. The moral of this story is that all systemic issues can be solved by finding a bad guy to beat."
End ID 4.]
[ID 5: Four panels.
Panel 1: Return to the green trio on their couch, watching the TV say "The End." All are are silent.
Panel 2: They are sitting on the couch. Moss is looking at their phone.
Lime: "Yeah so there were maybe a few signs we missed because we were children."
Leaf: "Yeah. A few. Some."
Panel 3: Continue conversation.
Lime: "So what did you think, Moss?"
Panel 4: Zoom in on Moss, who says: "I've been zoned out on my phone since the second movie. They lost me at the magic stuff. Wizards aren't real."
End ID 5.]
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#why yes I did just make this extremely long#surely there was no more succinct way to do this joke#oh god this keeps escaping the intended audience#which is people who are already familiar with#pills that make you green#ptmyg
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#âlemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of themâ .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers#they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy#but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure#respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys#I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years#anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period#i was always at my besties house lol#i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever...#bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday đâŽď¸
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that broken doll face trend but make it rose quartz
#not sure which version looks better so here's both!#steven universe#rose quartz#pink diamond#steven universe fanart#my art#i tried to make the inside look like a gem but idk if that comes across
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ppl are unironically saying kamala ran a "perfect campaign", it's almost comical how dedicated dems are to never learning a goddamned thing
#major protagonist syndrome#for a start I'd like to think a perfect campaign would've won cause the other guy's sure as hell wasn't perfect#otherwise you're admitting democracy doesn't work which is valid but then a little silly to be so mad at non-voters
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mistook mickbell for the beautiful asshole girl of my dreams (a mistake the official translation also made for a bit) and was devastated to learn that he is in fact a man. i've now projected this onto meijack
#dungeon meshi#meijack#or. mayjack? not sure#chilchuck tims#mickbell#my art#dunmeshi#dunmeshi spoilers#which i should start tagging ..
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#pjsk#project sekai#mizuki akiyama#date of me making this post: july 20th 2024#im making this now and sticking it in the drafts for when mizuki gender reveal happens#making this under the assumption that yes she is transfem#if she isnt then well you wont be reading these tags on this post to begin with#which at the time of me writing this we do not know for sure!!! i can not see the future!!!!#but if youre seeing this that means mizuki trans real yayyy yippeeee#congrats to mizuki on the fun gender from past me#10/12/24 update: ok it wasnt EXPLICITLY confirmed but im posting it anyways lolzor
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Jasonâs alcohol tolerance is exactly 0.09%, which Dick knows. Which is the primary reason he roped his siblings into playing a drinking game.
At most, Steph, who likes to think sheâs fluent in Jason, â or Batboys with repressed emotions, at least, â anticipated the following:
Angry shouting, maybe some swear words God definetly didnât approve of, trying to fist fight Alfredâs plants, painting the Batmobile pink, and the works.
She definitely didnât expect a ruby cheeked Jason to cry in Bruceâs lap.
âWhat the fuck are we gonna do if we donât know eachother in the next life, huh?!â
Tim piped up with an a nerdy rant, â technically, if life were to reinvent itself into another existence, itâd simply be an alternative universe being created, â but Jason simply throws his shoe at him.
Bruce, much to Damianâs pride, doesnât look shaken in the slightest. If he can handle his mother, he can handle everything,
âSweetheart, I really think thatâs not going to happen, thought,â he assures him with gentle conviction.
âBut weâre not gonna know eachother! What the FUCK. I want to be your son in every life. Iâm gonna kill God.â
âPlease donât kill God.â
âWeâre Jewish, what do we care?!â
âJay,â Bruce promised, âI would find you in every universe.â
That was supposed to make Jason feel better, not make him cry harder. But itâs cute Bruce tried, Dick thinks.
He still grounds all of them for paining the Batmobile, thought.
#GIVE ME GOOD GOLDEN CHILD JASON#yeah - sure - he decapitated several people and monopolized an entire crime system. but he also doesnât touch alcohol until heâs 22#stops at red lights. does jury duty#which is counterproductive if you ask him but itâs to annoy Harvey#anyway!! drunk Jason being an affectionate puppy <3333#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#stephanie brown#batfamily#batdad#text#text post
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Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing Ă la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :
Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources
Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)
Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women
Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women
Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)
Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)
Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community
Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS
Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough
Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media
Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards
Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories
Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")
And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue
Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)
#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos#And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here#and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here#And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives#Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite#2014 me would have. For sure.#This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr#James Somerton#hbomberguy#todd in the shadows#This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday#So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man#The call is coming from inside the house#The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere#And that somewhere was a tumblr post
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made a chart of the straw hats' skin tones with the colors being screencapped directly from the episodes, to show how much they've lightened. this is more than just an "artstyle change" or "design evolution" or "just the timeskip" this is blatant racism/colorism. it's fucking ridiculous and i don't understand how toei is continuously getting away with it please reblog btw, i think this is something people should see
#didnt include chopper/brook/jinbe for obvious reasons but i think even choppers fur has gotten lighter brown#even nami and sanji the characters who were pale from the beginning have gotten PALER#fucking INSANE how much usopp has lightened when you look at it side by side like this. and franky too which i never really took note of#and by âscreencapped directlyâ i mean like i literally screenshotted the characters and zoomed way in#and cropped a square of their face/arm#and made sure it was in average outdoor lighting not mood lighting/dramatic lighting so this is as accurate as possible#one piece#usopp#luffy#franky#nico robin#nami#sanji#vinsmoke sanji#monkey d luffy#zoro#roronoa zoro#casey posts#toei animation#toei#straw hat crew#straw hats#one piece discourse
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sooo... @ranilla-bean wrote a fic The Iconoclast beta read by @faux-fires but before rana and i got to talk lots about sout eats asian clothing and khmer cuture and... i stat down... drew the first one... and the other two. enojoy?
#atla#zuko#druk#ahhh i am not sure how to tag this....#but look at druk!!! look how cute druk is!!!#WE HAVE BEEN ROBBED!#no acctuallyi have been robbed because i asked for 'tiny arms???' on druk#because its cute and hillarious but...#its not accurate...#sadly...#and i also lost smal thin squiggly mustache debate....#which is truly a loss if you ask me!
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We all know the semi-canonical âall the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batmanâs cape, even as adultsâ thing.
We also know that Danny âis LITERALLY a ghostâ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.
All Iâm saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if youâd really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce âBrooding Instinctâ Wayne doesnât even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before thereâs a record scratch of âwait who tf is this?â kicks in.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom crossover#listen Iâm just SAYING#my initial thought is Fenton bc dark hair and how most of the robins have had dark hair#Danny isnât even necessarily running from danger. he just got into parkour and forgot how to stop his momentum#I mean you CAN have him running from something. give this an ACTUAL plot#but honestly I just think itâd be a fun little setup#Danny peaks out and. in panic. goes#hi weâre the council of the dead. weâve been trying to contact you and yours about your extended warranty#*extended life warranty or what have you#Danny hasnât even gotten death vibes from anyone yet so now he has to wing it#yeah hi⌠uh. Batman sir. if thatâs your preferred moniker?#right so weâre basically the ghost irs and you owe death taxes?#yeah you know the saying. death and taxes. guarantees of life. haha.#which in this case means you owe money bc you arenât dead yet. probably. idk I uh. JUST got the job .#anyways ohhhh hi yep youâre. red hood. yeah so. mm. yeah we definitely need to get you to the ghostly dmv#itâs the same as a regular dmv but people have actually been bored to death in there#(meanwhile Batman is like WAIT IS THIS SMALL CHILD DEAD?!)#(SURE WHATEVER IM RICH HOW DO I FIND A GHOST ACCOUNTANT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU RESPECT GHOST ADOPTIONS?)
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Reblog if you are less advanced than a jumping spider
#that sure is a rare quality#which I personally don't possess#jumping spider#spiders#I love these creatures so so much
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